My fourth chemo session. A bit apprehensive about this one as I was going to have the first shot of the maintenance drug Bevacizumab. It would add an hour and a half onto the chemo I was already having (that already took 6 hours to do). There was a bit of a mix up about my appointment time. I was given 10.45 and they were expecting me in at 9am without my having been told by anyone. The Velindre wards are really busy now. All the people who were postponed their appointments due to Covid 19 are now coming back in for their treatments. So the ward was extremley busy and full all day.
The first hour and a half went by without incident. As I was being prepared for the next drugs the nurse asked me my routine questions, name, date of birth and my address. I suddenly could not remember the name of my road or the number of my house, although 27 was floating back there somewhere in the recesses of my memory. I was feeling light headed and a bit disconbogulated by this happening to me again. My heart started racing. The nurse took my blood pressure and temperature but I was fine. The address came back to me a minute later and I was much relieved but quite disturbed by the whole experience. The nurse went off to find a doctor to come and have a chat with me and see how I was. He asked me the name of the prime minsiter but I could only answer the 'racist idiot with the blond hair'. I could not remember his name. All his other questions I answered ok :- name of the monarch, count backwards from 20. He went off saying if this happens again let us know. I'm sure it was around a minute of memory loss.
So (after researching the tinternet a bit) I am assuming that this is part of the Chemo brain that happens when people are having treatment and afterwards too. Nothing more sinister. Ha ha ever the optimist. For the next hour or so I repeated to myself my name, my address and date of birth just testing that I was ok!
The rest of the time passed slowly. I buried myself in my new book 'Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People about Race'. Sobering and harrowing reading, (for a white middle class woman) but extremely well written in lay person's language with clear and informative writing. I recommend it to everyone. We white peoples need to educate ourselves to become part of the fight. To be actively and vocally anti-racist in every situation we find ourselves in.
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